When I was younger I thought that the only path to happiness and success was to choose one path and stick with it. Determine your career, Determine your major, determine your one BIG HAIRY GOAL. Strap on your bull horns and plow through everything until you succeed. I tried this so many times. I had one goal that I’d focus on, I’d plow though my straight and narrow path and rarely achieve.
Somewhere in the process of growing up (read: in the last year or so) I realized that I was limiting myself for fear of failure … but continually failing because my heart didn’t want just one goal. I wanted to dream, think bigger without fear. Wander.
And so I let myself. I dreamt up lots of goals, they weren’t all along one path and they didn’t all make logical sense. I started to think bigger, to go outside my box. What I became was happier and shockingly, more focused. During that out of box dreaming I landed upon a few goals that I REALLY wanted.
I’d be amiss if I didn’t point out that “growing up” for me meant finding my compass. That one thing that grounds you and makes you realize that exactly what you are is and always will be good enough. Everyones compass is a little different, mine was family. Yes my husband and my kids but also the greater unit of family. Its like being in an envelope that I share with others who support me, acknowledge my mistakes, forgive me, and help redirect me. Its a support system that I never knew I could have or that I wanted. I don’t think wandering without a compass is possible.
Here I am now with a few BIG HAIRY GOALS. No, I honestly don’t have clear direct paths of how to achieve them and I don’t want one. I will never put my bull horns back on – I really hated those things. I’m wandering. and figuring things out as I go, but mostly accepting that the twists & turns along the way are part of the joy of life.
So I will be here, wandering around and talking about the highs and lows of it, because I honestly miss this blog.
I have decided to turn comments off for now. I love those who I’ve met through this blog, but lets be honest, it hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine up in here and I’m treading lightly.